What did the postage stamp say to the Valentine's Day card?

I'm stuck on you!

Are you a Valentine's Day cookie? Because you're the crumb to my heart and I dough-n't want to be without you.

I'm not arguing that Valentine's Day is overrated, but

I just think it's a holiday created by florists and jewelers to make singles feel like they're in a real-life game of 'Monopoly' – paying rent, but no one's getting a free park.

Why did the chocolate go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little melted under the pressure