Are you a Valentine's Day coupon?

Because you're a discount on my loneliness and I want to redeem you

What did the postage stamp say to the Valentine's Day card?

I'm stuck on you!

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time!

On Valentine's Day, couples are out there, declaring their undying love with grand gestures...

And I'm just grateful for the unwavering loyalty of my couch and the remote control.