I was at the coffee shop this morning, and the barista asked for my name.

I paused, looked directly into their eyes, and whispered, 'Just... *the girl*.' Then I winked, like I was in a trailer for my own coming-of-age indie film.

Some guys on dating apps say they want an 'independent woman.'

What they actually mean is 'a woman who doesn't *need* anything from me, but is always available for me.'

I've been swiping through dating apps, and I've noticed a pattern

Every guy is a 'serial entrepreneur' with a 'thriving business' – which is just code for 'I'm unemployed and play a lot of video games'

I've started carrying a small emergency kit in my purse, complete with bobby pins, pain relievers, and a portable charger.

Because apparently, I'm not just a woman, I'm a disaster relief team.