Valentine's Day is when everyone celebrates finding their 'better half'.

I'm celebrating my 'better *alone* half' – the one who gets the whole couch and doesn't have to share snacks.

People always ask me what my significant other is getting me for Valentine's Day.

My significant other is Amazon Prime, and they're getting me whatever I put in my cart at 2 AM last Tuesday.

Are you a Valentine's Day time capsule?

Because you're someone I'd love to unwrap years from now.

Are you a Valentine's Day time capsule?

Because you're someone I'd love to unwrap years from now.