I've been dating a girl who's a professional cryptologist, and she's always trying to crack my code

But honestly, I think she's just looking for a backdoor entrance

I told my girlfriend I was trying to quit smoking.

She said, "Good, maybe now you'll be able to last longer."

I've been dating a girl who's a professional librarian, and she's always trying to get me to check out her catalog and see if we have a good connection.

My friend, who's a master woodworker, told me the key to a really strong joint...

He said you have to get it perfectly aligned, drive it in deep, and apply plenty of pressure for a solid finish.