I matched with a guy on a dating app who claimed to be a 'dog dad'

But his photos were all of him holding other people's dogs

I've been noticing a trend on dating apps where guys list their hobbies as 'hiking' and 'traveling'

But their Instagram stories are just them playing video games in their mom's basement

I bought a new pair of jeans that actually have real, functional pockets.

I've been carrying my phone, wallet, and keys in them all week, just walking around the house, marveling at the sheer novelty.

I saw a guy's dating profile where he described himself as 'low-key' and looking for 'good vibes only.'

Which I've learned is code for 'I bring absolutely nothing to the table, and I will never acknowledge your feelings.'