My wife told me she prefers it when I go down on one knee.

She says it shows I'm really committed to tying the knot.

My wife was complaining the other day. She said I never properly finish the job, always leaving things uneven and requiring her to pick up the slack, and that I really needed to work on my strokes to get a good, smooth coat.

She was talking about the new paint job in the living room, of course.

I've been dating a professional archer, and she's been teaching me about the importance of proper form and follow-through.

Now I know why she's always hitting the mark, but missing the point.

I've been dating a girl who's a talented architect, and she's always trying to design the perfect bedroom

But honestly, I think she's just trying to build a case for why I'm always on top