I was running errands yesterday and I decided to give my day a cinematic score

Now every time I'm at the DMV, I'm the heroine of a sci-fi epic, and the hold music is just the sound of my spaceship hovering over the planet Bureaucracy

He told me he was 'a really good cook' on his dating profile, and that he loved making 'gourmet meals.'

Turns out 'gourmet' means microwaving chicken nuggets and serving them on a plate he just rinsed under the tap.

I've been noticing a trend on dating apps

where guys list 'traveling' as a hobby, but their only photo is from a weekend in Vegas 5 years ago

My main character energy is so potent, that when my Wi-Fi went out this morning...

...I didn't just troubleshoot it. I paced dramatically, stared out the window with a pensive expression, and waited for the inspiring background music to kick in so I could have my 'aha!' moment.