My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more of an alpha male in bed.

I said, "Okay, but you'll have to start leaving me food on the floor."

My girlfriend told me she wanted a man who was good with his hands, like a carpenter.

She said I spend too much time measuring and not enough time nailing.

I was trying to thread a needle, but the eye was just too small.

My grandma just winked and said, "Sometimes, honey, you just gotta lick it to get it in."

Why did the couple bring a dictionary on their honeymoon?

They wanted to define their relationship