My financial advisor told me I really needed to diversify my assets.

I told him, 'Don't worry, I already have a very well-rounded portfolio.'

My girlfriend asked me what the difference was between me and a vibrator.

I told her, 'Well, I can make you breakfast the next morning.'

I went on a first date with a woman last night, and she told me she was really into self-care.

So I asked if she meant meditation, yoga, or just making sure she had enough clean batteries.

My therapist told me that for a relationship to really work, both partners need to put in the effort.

So I asked my girlfriend if she'd mind doing a few more squats.