Why did the man name his dick 'Cashew'?

Because every time he got excited, it went nuts.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional cartographer, and she's always trying to map out our love life.

But honestly, I'm just trying to find the point of no return.

My girlfriend asked me what the difference was between me and a vibrator.

I told her, 'Well, I can make you breakfast the next morning.'

I've been trying to improve my relationships by taking a wine and paint class

Now I'm better at handling brushstrokes, but still struggling to find a good blend