At our Thanksgiving, the quietest part of the evening isn't during the blessing.

It's about an hour after dinner, when everyone's successfully entered their food coma.

What do you call a nervous turkey on Thanksgiving?

A poultry-geist!

Alright, folks, before I start carving this magnificent bird, I just want to say...

This turkey is really *fowl-play*ing with my emotions!

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner seating chart isn't about politeness or proximity to the food.

It's a strategic battlefield plan to minimize exposure to Uncle Steve's political theories and Aunt Carol's 'When are you getting married?' interrogation.