Our family's Thanksgiving dinner seating chart isn't about politeness or proximity to the food.

It's a strategic battlefield plan to minimize exposure to Uncle Steve's political theories and Aunt Carol's 'When are you getting married?' interrogation.

Wow, this turkey looks absolutely perfect.

It's almost un-gobble-lievable!

Why did the stuffing get a promotion?

Because it was always *filling* its potential!

I love how my family's Thanksgiving dinner is supposed to be a judgment-free zone

but somehow my aunt always manages to fit in a critique of my life choices between the mashed potatoes and the green beans