I'm starting to think that Valentine's Day is just a social experiment

to see how many people we can convince to pay triple for flowers and dinner

Do you have a Valentine's Day sweetheart?

Because you're a-maize-ing and I'm corny for you!

Why did the chocolate go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little melted under the pressure

I'm not single on Valentine's Day, I'm just

in a long-distance relationship with my couch and Netflix.