My Valentine's Day plans involve a very deep, very passionate relationship...

...with an entire pizza I don't have to share.

This Valentine's Day, I'm really looking forward to flowers, chocolates, and someone telling me how special I am.

So I ordered myself a bouquet, bought a fancy box of truffles, and then just looked in the mirror.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

Because my Valentine's chocolates are melting faster than my romantic expectations.

Are you a Valentine's Day heart-shaped balloon?

Because you're inflating my expectations of love and I don't want you to pop out of my life.