Alright everyone, as I prepare to carve this magnificent turkey, I just want to remind you...

I'm the *meat-er* of ceremonies around here!

Why did the turkey get a standing ovation at Thanksgiving dinner?

Because he really brought his stuffing to the table!

Why did the cranberry sauce feel embarrassed?

Because it saw the turkey dressing!

My family's Thanksgiving dinner is a lot like a reality TV show

because every year we have a new cast of characters, a fresh set of alliances, and at least one dramatic exit before dessert