Why did the cranberry sauce blush?

Because it saw the turkey dressing!

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner is a lot like a math problem

You've got too many variables, and somehow everyone ends up feeling divided.

Why do I always feel so happy and thankful every Thanksgiving?

Because I'm truly *grate-fowl* for all of you!

Why did the cranberry sauce stop in the middle of the road?

Because it was a jam!