I told my wife we should start a new tradition at Thanksgiving

But she just gobbled up the idea

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner is so unpredictable,

we've started setting the table with a fire extinguisher and a therapist's phone number.

In my family, Thanksgiving dinner is like a competitive sport.

The winner is whoever can deflect the most personal questions without choking on a dinner roll.

My family's Thanksgiving dinner is a lot like a reality TV show

because every year we have a new cast of characters, a fresh set of alliances, and at least one dramatic exit before dessert