I've been dating a girl who's a talented architect, and she's always trying to design the perfect bedroom

But honestly, I think she's just trying to build a case for why I'm always on top

Why did the couple bring a magnet on their anniversary date?

They wanted to attract some old sparks.

My new pastry chef told me she needed me to really work the dough until it was good and stiff, then push something long and firm deep into the center. She said to get the best rise, I needed to make sure it was well-lubricated before sliding it in, and then let it sit until it swelled up and got really hot.

Turns out we were making bread, and she was teaching me how to use a proofing thermometer.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more spontaneous in bed.

So I just started shouting 'SURPRISE!' every time I came.