I've been taking private lessons from a professional seamstress, and she's been teaching me how to make a perfect stitch, get in deep, and really pull it all together.

Now I can finally finish that torn pair of pants.

I've been dating a mathematician, and she's always trying to find the common denominator in our relationship.

But it's always reducing to a fraction of what it used to be.

They say men fantasize about having sex with multiple women.

And women fantasize about having sex with *one* man who doesn't need directions.

I've been taking private lessons from a professional fencer, and she's been teaching me about the importance of parrying and riposting in a tight spot.

Now I can finally score without getting caught off guard.