My girlfriend told me she loves foreplay.

I told her, 'Great, because I usually need about an hour and a half just to get my socks off.'

My date told me she loved a man who could really handle his tools, get down and dirty, and wasn't afraid to get his hands on some really tough nuts.

She just needed help fixing her car engine.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to go on a really wild adventure in bed.

So I told her, 'Great, let's try not faking it this time.'

I've been dating a girl who's a professional dominatrix, and she's always trying to make our relationship more exciting.

But honestly, the only thing she's really dominating is my credit card.