I've been dating a girl who's a professional architect, and she's always trying to redesign our sex life.

Now every time we hook up, it's a blueprint for disaster.

My therapist told me I need to be more present in the moment.

I told her sometimes I just can't help myself from coming early.

My pottery instructor told me I really needed to work on my handling skills.

Now I'm much better at getting things wet and spinning them into shape.

My wife was complaining about our plumbing last night. She said something about needing a man who could really handle a pipe, get deep down, and know how to screw things tight to stop the leaking.

So I called a plumber, and he'll be here Monday.