Why did the couple bring a magnet on their anniversary date?

They wanted to attract some old sparks.

My wife told me she needed me to really get down and dirty tonight, handle something long and stiff, and then help her get it off.

She just wanted me to help her change the vacuum cleaner bag.

I've been dating a professional librarian, and she's been teaching me about the importance of cataloging and shelving our desires.

But it turns out, her favorite position is still 'between the stacks'.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional gemstone polisher

and she's always trying to get me to rub her the right way