I've learned that marriage is all about finding creative ways to ask for permission

like saying 'honey, can I watch the game?' when what I really mean is 'can I ignore you for three hours?'

Before they got married, [Bride's Name] and [Groom's Name] probably envisioned idyllic mornings, waking up to birds chirping and breakfast in bed.

Now they'll get to experience the joys of waking up to a smoke detector chirping, because someone forgot the toast.

I asked the happy couple how they knew they were meant to be together

They said it was love at first sight, but I think it was just because they both swiped right

When my wife and I were first dating, our conversations were full of dreams, passions, and philosophical debates.

Now, they mostly revolve around whose turn it is to take out the recycling, and whether we have enough milk.