I've been dating a girl who's into tantric sex, which is all about prolonging the experience.

Now I know why her Netflix subscription is still active after 6 months of us watching the same episode of 'Stranger Things'.

I've been taking private lessons from a skilled arborist, and she's been teaching me how to prune with precision, really get to the root of the problem, and help me branch out in new ways.

Now I'm able to penetrate even the densest foliage.

I've been dating a girl who's really into astrology, and she told me our love was written in the stars.

But honestly, I think our love life is more like a lunar cycle – it's all about the phases, and sometimes it's just a dark void for weeks.

I've been dating a professional photographer, and she's always trying to develop our relationship.

But honestly, I think she's just looking for someone to focus on.