Why did the couple bring a magnet on their anniversary date?

They wanted to attract some old sparks.

My girlfriend told me she loves foreplay.

I told her, 'Great, because I usually need about an hour and a half just to get my socks off.'

My wife just got a new hobby. She loves to spend hours getting things wet and slippery, then slowly working them in and out until they're firm and ready.

She's taken up pottery.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to feel something 'deep and meaningful' in bed.

I told her, 'Honey, if you wanted a colonoscopy, you could have just said so.'