Why did the turkey refuse to play cards?

He was afraid of getting plucked!

At our Thanksgiving dinner, the only thing thicker than the gravy...

...is the silence after my cousin asks if anyone's seen his ex-girlfriend.

What did the stuffing say to the turkey?

You're the breadwinner of this meal, but I'm the one holding everything together!

What's a turkey's favorite type of music?

Anything with a good drumstick beat!