I asked [Groom's Name] what he was most looking forward to about married life.

He said, 'Finally having someone to share all my hobbies with.' Bless his heart, he's about to discover a whole new world of *her* hobbies.

They say marriage is about finding someone who perfectly complements you.

And I've found that my wife perfectly complements my decision-making process... by making all the decisions for me.

I've learned that the key to a happy marriage is

mastering the art of saying 'I'm sorry' without knowing what you did wrong

I've learned that marriage is all about finding creative ways to ask for permission

like saying 'honey, can I watch the game?' when what I really mean is 'can I ignore you for three hours?'