I bought a new pair of jeans that actually have real, functional pockets.

I've been carrying my phone, wallet, and keys in them all week, just walking around the house, marveling at the sheer novelty.

I've been noticing a trend on dating apps where guys list their hobbies as 'hiking' and 'traveling'

But their Instagram stories are just them playing video games in their mom's basement

He posted a whole Instagram story about how crucial it is for men to be allies and uplift women's voices.

Then immediately slid into my DMs with 'Hey, smile more.'

He told me he prefers women who aren't 'too high-maintenance.'

Honey, I just spent ten minutes trying to peel a hair tie off my wrist without taking off my watch. We are barely maintaining.