Alright everyone, it's time for the main event! As I carve this magnificent turkey, I just hope my knife work doesn't lead to any...

...fowl play.

I'm really excited to carve this bird, but it does make me a little nostalgic...

...thinking back to when it was just a paltry little thing.

My grandma keeps asking if I'm seeing anyone at Thanksgiving.

I tell her I'm seeing a lot of judgment, a little gravy, and a path straight to the pie.

As I carve into this magnificent Thanksgiving turkey, I just want to say...

This bird truly is a work of poultry in motion!