I tried to surprise my wife with a grand romantic gesture the other night.

I did all the dishes. She just looked at me and said, 'Are you implying something about my dish-loading technique?'

We tried to plan a simple wedding, but our families had other ideas

Now our 'intimate gathering' has a waiting list and a VIP section

When you're dating, you might spend hours planning the perfect romantic gesture, sending flowers, or writing love letters.

But [Groom's Name], let me tell you, in marriage, you'll be a hero just for remembering to take out the trash, or refilling the toilet paper roll without being asked.

I've noticed that since getting married, our conversations have become very efficient

Now, instead of saying 'I love you', we just say 'WiFi password?' and the other person knows exactly what we mean