Our family's Thanksgiving dinner is so unpredictable,

we've started setting the table with a fire extinguisher and a therapist's phone number.

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner is like a perfectly balanced recipe

one part love, two parts argument, and a whole lot of gravy to smooth things over

In my family, the most competitive event at Thanksgiving isn't football or eating the most pie.

It's seeing who can fall asleep on the couch first after dinner.

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner seating chart isn't about politeness or proximity to the food.

It's a strategic battlefield plan to minimize exposure to Uncle Steve's political theories and Aunt Carol's 'When are you getting married?' interrogation.