I decided to take up painting as a hobby, so I went to the art store to buy some supplies. The store had a huge selection of brushes, canvases, and paints, but I was having trouble finding the perfect color. I asked the store owner for help, and he told me

it was a tint of a problem

I went to the beach and saw a crab playing a guitar.

I guess you could say it was a shell of a musician.

My wife told me to buy a new calendar.

I told her there was no point, its days are numbered anyway.

Why did the clock go to the therapist?

It had too many ticks.