I've been noticing a trend on dating apps where guys list their hobbies as 'hiking' and 'traveling'

But their Instagram stories are just them playing video games in their mom's basement

I was at the coffee shop this morning, and the barista asked for my name.

I paused, looked directly into their eyes, and whispered, 'Just... *the girl*.' Then I winked, like I was in a trailer for my own coming-of-age indie film.

I was running late for work and spilled coffee all over my shirt

So, I monologued to myself in the mirror, 'It's not just a stain, it's a metaphor for the chaos that is my life,' and then I walked out the door like I was in a Scorsese film.

I've started using a mindfulness app to help me stay focused throughout the day

Now I'm just mindfully aware of how much I'm procrastinating