My mom keeps telling me to 'just buy a starter home.'

I told her the only starter home I can afford is the one in Monopoly.

I told my therapist I was having trouble committing to consistent routines because of my disorganized attachment style.

She just sighed and said, 'So you're saying you're disorganized?'

I've been reading all these self-help books to improve my mental health

now my apartment is just a pile of unread books and unfulfilled potential

I asked my manager why our meeting couldn't have been an email

And they said 'because then we wouldn't have had the opportunity to synergize our thought processes and disrupt the paradigm of traditional communication'