I've been dating a girl who's a professional cartographer, and she's always trying to map out our love life.

But honestly, I'm just trying to find the point of no return.

My new nutritionist told me to make sure I get a good, deep swallow with every meal.

I told her I already do that, but usually with a different kind of protein.

My girlfriend asked if I could help her with her new air mattress.

She said she needed me to really 'pump it up' to make sure it was firm enough for us tonight.

I've been dating a librarian, and she's very particular about our love life.

She's always checking me out, but never returns me on time.