I just started a new job at a bakery, and my boss is very particular about how I handle the dough.

He says I need to come in early, work it hard and fast until it's really stiff, then get it warm and moist so it can rise properly.

I've been taking private lessons from a professional fencer, and she's been teaching me about the importance of parrying and riposting in a tight spot.

Now I can finally score without getting caught off guard.

My therapist told me I need to be more present in the moment.

I told her sometimes I just can't help myself from coming early.

My girlfriend asked me what the difference was between me and a vibrator.

I told her, 'Well, I can make you breakfast the next morning.'