My new riding instructor is very particular. She says the key to a good performance is a firm grip, finding your rhythm, and really working your hips into the saddle.

She had me going up and down for what felt like hours until I was completely exhausted, but when I finally finished, I felt utterly satisfied.

My girlfriend told me she wanted a man who was good with his hands, like a carpenter.

She said I spend too much time measuring and not enough time nailing.

I've been dating a girl who's really into astrology, and she told me our love was written in the stars.

But honestly, I think our love life is more like a lunar cycle – it's all about the phases, and sometimes it's just a dark void for weeks.

My wife told me she was having a lot of trouble with her new recipe. She said she was trying to get something big and firm to really swell up, but it just kept getting soft and refusing to rise.

She was making soufflé for the first time.