I've been dating a girl who's really into role-playing in the bedroom

But honestly, I'm getting a little tired of being the defendant

My wife said I need to be more hands-on around the house.

I told her I'm happy to help, but she usually wants me to 'drill down' in a very specific area.

My piano teacher told me I needed to work on my fingering.

I said, "I'm trying, but not on a keyboard."

I told my date I was a master of seduction and could make any woman swoon.

She just laughed and said I was just a bass player.