I suggested replacing our daily stand-up meeting with a simple email update

but my manager said that would 'kill the synergy' – code for 'I love hearing myself talk'.

Our CEO told us to 'lean into the discomfort' of our current workload.

I leaned so hard I almost fell into a nap.

My boss told me to 'leverage my personal brand' to help the company grow.

I told him my personal brand is 'exhausted and questioning everything'.

I told my therapist I'm actively working on my anxious attachment style.

Then she said 'Okay, see you next week,' and I immediately texted her, 'Are you sure about that?'