My boss told me to 'manifest a positive outcome'

when I asked for a raise.

My biggest fear isn't dying.

It's having to pay for the funeral.

I've been trying to afford a house, but it seems like the only thing I can actually buy is avocado toast

My therapist asked if I did my journaling homework.

I said, 'Yes, I journaled about how I didn't want to do my journaling homework.'