My girlfriend told me she wanted to move in together to 'take our relationship to the next level.'

I said, 'Great, now you can finally see how long it takes for me to get off when I'm not faking it.'

My girlfriend told me she loves our road trips.

She says she really enjoys the way the engine vibrates between her legs after a long, hot ride.

My rock climbing instructor told me I needed to improve my grip.

I told him, 'Funny, my girlfriend always tells me I've got a fantastic grip.'

My fishing instructor told me the most important thing is to really work the rod, get your line out deep, and keep a firm grip, because sometimes you have to wait for a while before you get a good tug.

He caught a record-breaking marlin.