I've been dating a librarian, and she's always checking me out.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to tease her more in bed.

I said, 'Alright, but you're not getting an orgasm until you finally fix that leaky faucet.'

I've been dating a girl who's a professional welder, and she's always trying to get me to help her join two pieces together in a strong and lasting bond.

She says it's all about the penetration and the heat of the moment.

My dentist told me I needed a deep cleaning.

I told him I thought he was only interested in my teeth.