My daughter was doing her homework and came to me complaining. She said her pencil wasn't working and she couldn't write anything.

I told her, 'Well, if it's not working, it sounds like it's pointless!'

I'm a baker, and I'm feeling crumby today.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

What do you call a belt made of watches?

A waist of time.