My male colleague got a promotion and immediately started delegating all the 'team morale' tasks to me.

Apparently, my natural ability to remember birthdays and organize potlucks is now considered a 'leadership quality.'

I tried to streamline my morning routine to get that 'effortlessly chic' vibe.

Now I just spend twice as long making it look like I didn't spend any time at all.

My friend just described herself as 'low-maintenance' because she only buys one type of moisturizer.

And I thought, 'Honey, I just spent ten minutes deciding if my bra straps were visible enough to be an accessory or an oversight. That's *my* version of 'just rolling out of bed'.'

I've been noticing that guys on dating apps love to brag about being 'dog dads'

but their idea of 'parenting' is just posting a cousin's dog on their profile