I asked my manager why our meeting couldn't have been an email

And they said 'because then we wouldn't have had the opportunity to synergize our thought processes and disrupt the paradigm of traditional communication'

I'm thinking about starting a family.

But then I remember climate change, and I just buy another houseplant.

My parents asked if I'm saving for a down payment.

I told them I'm saving for the societal collapse – feels more realistic.

I asked my boomer dad for housing advice

He said 'just save up and put 20% down', which is like telling me to 'just buy a unicorn and ride it to work'