I'm so deep into side hustles,

my main job is starting to feel like a really intense hobby.

I asked my boomer friend for investment advice

He told me to buy a house, I told him I'd rather buy a Lambo, at least then I'd have a vehicle to sleep in

My therapist recommended journaling to process my emotions.

So I started a bullet journal dedicated entirely to why I hate journaling.

My parents told me to 'pull myself up by my bootstraps.'

I can't even afford the boots.