When my wife and I were dating, she used to say I was such a great listener, I'd often finish her sentences.

Now, I just finish her snacks.

I used to think 'finding yourself' was a journey of self-discovery.

Then I got married and realized it's mostly a journey of finding the remote control after my wife's been using it.

Marriage is like a recipe for your favorite dish

it starts out sweet, gets a little messy, but in the end, it's all about the ingredients you put into it, and these two have all the right ingredients

I used to think the biggest compromise in marriage would be deciding on vacation destinations.

Turns out, it's deciding who gets to keep 80% of the duvet and still pretend to be asleep when the other person starts shivering.