I told my kids we were going to a grape concert

but it was just a bunch of wine singers

So I was at the beach with my family, and we saw a man selling seashells. He had all sorts of shells in different shapes and sizes, and my kids were fascinated by them. The vendor told us that he had been collecting them for years and had become quite the expert

at shell-ing out advice

I tried to start a career as a fisherman, but it wasn't going well.

I guess you could say I was having a reel problem.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged