I told my wife she was going to start a tree-mendous gardening career

but she just wanted to branch out and try something new

Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?

He couldn't concentrate.

I bought a bunch of bananas at the store yesterday, but when I got home, I noticed one of them looked really sad and bruised. It was practically falling apart.

I guess it was feeling un-peel-y.

I went to the doctor and said, 'Doc, I've got a problem, I've been feeling a little horse lately'