When I'm having a bad day, I don't just mope around.

I find the nearest window, gaze out pensively at nothing, and patiently wait for the rain to start, because every great character arc needs a 'staring out the window while it rains' scene.

I saw a guy's Tinder bio that said he was a 'dog dad' with a 'heart of gold'

But his only photos were of him holding someone else's dog

I've started using a productivity app that tracks my daily habits and goals, and it's been really helpful, except for one thing:

it still can't account for the 3 hours I spend each day mentally rehearsing conversations I'll never actually have.

I'm at the point where I'm treating every minor setback like it's a dramatic plot twist

I just spilled coffee on my shirt and I'm pretty sure I heard a lone violin playing in the background