I tried to streamline my morning routine to get that 'effortlessly chic' vibe.

Now I just spend twice as long making it look like I didn't spend any time at all.

He complimented me by saying, 'You're so chill, not like other girls.'

And I just nodded, thinking, 'Buddy, my 'chill' is 90% emotional exhaustion from dealing with guys like you.'

I spent all of Sunday morning meticulously meal-prepping, labeling containers, feeling like a domestic goddess of wellness.

By Tuesday evening, I was eating lukewarm cheese straight from the block, staring wistfully at those perfectly portioned quinoa bowls.

I matched with a guy on a dating app who claimed to be a 'free spirit' with a 'passion for adventure'

But his Instagram stories were just 12 consecutive posts of him eating the same breakfast burrito at his desk