Alright folks, before I dive into carving this magnificent turkey, I just have to say, it's so beautiful, it's practically...

poultry in motion!

I've been thinking, what did the grape say when it got invited to Thanksgiving dinner?

Nothing, it just let it wine down and join the family

Our family Thanksgiving dinner has two main courses:

Turkey with all the fixings, and unsolicited life advice from every generation.

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner is a lot like a math problem

You've got too many variables, and somehow everyone ends up feeling divided.