What did the chocolate bar say to its sweetheart?

I'm nuts about you!

I'm reading a book on Valentine's Day history

It's a real page-turner, mainly because it's empty

Why did the rose go to the doctor on Valentine's Day?

It had a little 'prickly' feeling!

They say diamonds are forever, and chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand...

...but my preferred Valentine's gift is a streaming service that doesn't ask 'Are you still watching?' because it *knows* I am.