Are you a heart?

Because you're absolutely vital for pumping blood throughout my circulatory system.

Valentine's Day is just a yearly reminder...

...that I don't have to pretend to enjoy expensive prix fixe menus or tiny, overpriced chocolates.

Why did the love letter blush on Valentine's Day?

Because it was sealed with a kiss!

This Valentine's Day, I'm celebrating by getting into a long-term, committed relationship.

With my couch and a streaming service. We're very exclusive.