My dad's idea of a perfect Father's Day morning isn't breakfast in bed...

It's being the first one awake to admire the flawless stripes he mowed into the lawn *yesterday*.

For Father's Day, I told my dad I was feeling generous and wanted to buy him something extravagant.

He looked at me and said, "Hi generous, I'm dad!"

I asked my dad why he still keeps all my childhood artwork, even the really bad drawings, and he said

it's because he's not looking at the artwork, he's looking at the memory, and that's something no artist can replicate.

I asked my dad if the burgers were ready on Father's Day.

He just flipped one with his tongs and said, 'Not yet! They're still trying to *meat* my expectations!'